I tried to be super positive after things happened, but everything seems to be tumbling down. No one is interested in hearing to my inner voice. Really gave in my best, but end up heart broken.  What's the point of putting effort then? What the point of showing you my vulnerable side and end up getting eaten up? I really hope someone beside me can hear me out, hear my darkest secrets, not judge me and continue to love me.. Maybe this expectation of men is something to be not attainable. Life sucks
I'm currently thinking about long term friends vs short term ones.
Recently, I found out that it was not really nice to join a pair of long term friends even though becoming their friends is a joy. I love both of them individually. But when they do things together, I feel that I am intruding something. I guessed its difficult to become comfortable friends with people of different time line.
I really miss my secondary school friends, everytime I think about this topic, I feel that same time frame friends will eventually last longer. I love you girls.

I miss my grandma, my family and everyone back in Singapore. Even though, I like being away and having Owen beside me is good, but I never really felt home.



Honestly, it has been 2 years ever since we have separated. It seems that we both have moved on. I think of you every now and then, and I miss you. I think of how this relationship groomed me into a person with priorities. Let's just say we are very different people now. Seeing you treat your new girlfriend better than me shows how much you love her, and it shows how much you care for her. I am really happy for you that you have moved on. For me, I might have lingering feelings. However, it's no longer love. It's just care and concern, but all these are traits of love right? I have seen your aunt today which have triggered me to think of our relationship. It's very touching to see your family members to visit your grandfather every weekend, to be treated well in your family was something I really want. But you ain't the guy that is meant for me. I realised what I was looking for when I did badly during my JC was comfort and encouragement to carry on. I knew you love me, and cared for me, but we were just growing up. I wanted you to tell me that it was ok to do badly, and not tell me "aiyah, it's normal to do badly".I really didn't want to be compared to SG ' girlfriend when she is a scholar and she is doing very well in JC. Maybe I wanted you to be move involved in my life as how much I wanted to be in yours. It was difficult because we were too young to make decisions. I didnt like how self centred you were, and forced me to eat what you eat. I enjoyed it because I was in love and wanted to suit you. And it was difficult to tell you that I didnt like garlic and chilli. But now, I love chilli. I was exceptionally hurt when you didnt want to go downstairs to buy brayani for me/ with me. I had hidden love for flowers and you realised it on Vday when the waitress gave us one. But, you insisted that I didnt like flowers. Thanks for all the presents, but all I wanted was attention and comfort. I wanted comfort thats why I sleep in your house so often, while you played online games. There are things in the relationship that I appreciate about you and there are things that I detest. But ultimately, looking at you moving on and growing to a better man for another woman makes me happy for the other woman. She would appreciate you better. I am grateful it ended, and I am thankful that it ended. After all, we might be perpendicular lines, we only meet once, but thats all we need to reflect and learn from it.
I miss you, and thanks for letting me grow up during this relationship.
Now it's time to move on, and this is my last letter to you.
It's so hard to be someone whom wants to be accepted. I dont know whether it's the right choice to have someone that cannot accept me for who I am to be around me. two different people of two different culture. Got together to be so close to be so far apart. I dont know what to do to be a better girlfriend, I am at a lost when I come to relationships. Everyone only sees the happier of us, but whats underneath: Unacceptance.

Oh Lord, my prayer to accept me for who I am.


Read more: Israel - He Knows My Name Lyrics | MetroLyrics 




Never felt so tired of making friends. Put in so much effort to know my partner's friends, yet, they dont even take my efforts into consideration.

Let's say, if they really cannot interact with me, just because of language barrier, then just go back to your home country. What is so difficult in that?! Come to Perth and speak home language and dont make international friends. Then go back la. PISS OFF.

If you really dont want to be friends, then fuck off. Dont waste my time. Dont expect me to accept people who cannot accept me. Friendship is never a one way traffic. Dickheads, just make friends with your home country people, then just go home, everyone there is full of YOU.

Culture problem and privacy of personal friendship space. DONT FUCKING GET INVOLVE WITH MY PARTNER IF YOU CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH ME. Jealous, say so. You dont have to find ways to dig everything out from him. Interested in my life? DATE ME. Dont talk behind my back, talk infront of me. Either way, I still wont be able to understand what you idiots trying to talk about.


Being exclusive is not being inclusive. This is something all of people who thinks that they are exclusive should know. Get the meaning of exclusive right. TBH, people whom are antisocial are all exclusive. Not that people exclude them, but they exclude themselves from people. So dont think that you are exclusive, maybe you are just fucking judgmental and not willing to accept other people.

One more thing, to that person out there. If you want to continue to be my classmate next year, you better show me why I should continue to have you in my life when I treated you so nicely. you have 4 months count down to prove to me why I should still be putting in effort to have you.

Haters' job is to hate. I am not a hater. I didnt start the fire, your unwillingness did.
So when a friend judges you, your family. Am I supposed to allow that to happen? Am I supposed to defend my family? Or am I supposed to suck it up, and blame myself for trusting too much. Maybe I should go on with the last one.
This blog post isnt for guys to pity me, or for girls to bitch about me, it just something I wanted to blog about.

When you strive to be a better person in a better place, there will be some people that will not be satisfied with you.
Especially if the people you have placed importance to, they will think that you arent doing enough.
I know I am too old for this. But we are all social animals isnt it? Maybe its my problem that I need to change.
Day 1 (20 Jan2016)
Chilli Crab @ 2Chefs

Day 2 (29 Jan2016)
Ban Mian + Char Kway Teow

Day 3 (30 Jan2016)
Prata

Day 4 (31 Jan2016)
Nasi Lemak, Some longan red tea ice jelly, and sugar cane
Pulau Ubin

Day 5 (1 Feb2016)
Malaysia Boleh Claypot Rice + Esplanade

Day 6 (2 Feb2016)
Coney Island + Bak Kut Teh

Day 7 (3 Feb2016)
Fish Soup + Labrador park + Mount Faber + Henderson wave + Fried Prawn Mee

Day 8 (4 Feb2016)
St john Island and Lazarus Island + 21Rajah + no5Pub

Day 9 (5 Feb2016)
Esplanade Lib + Ban Mian + Late night Prata

And I am half way there... and Hafiz flew on the 7 Feb

Day 10 (8 Feb2016; CNY1)
Pineapple tart & love letters + BAO FISH + Yi Ma's house + Ergugu's house

Day 11 (9 Feb2016 CNY2)
STEAM BOAT with sleepover titties + Steam boat at Stan's

Day 12 (11 Feb2016)
Out with Grace to Rider's Cafe and Raffles Marina

Day 13(12 Feb2016)
Breakfast with Sleep Over Titties +Lunch with Huili @ Ma Mansion

Take off ~ bye


http://elitedaily.com/dating/how-it-feels-to-be-an-option/1057743/



Remind yourself every day that it is your responsibility to take care of yourself, and that it’s better to be your own first than someone else’s second